Last night I burned some calories at The Wanted concert at the Beacon Theater. It was awesome. Taio Cruz got the party started with his three hits and The Wanted made fangirls cry for 60 minutes. That’s not the point of this post though.
My dream last night:
I met Nathan after the concert. Him and the boys were at my cousin’s house, where I’ve been staying, for some reason? We totally hit it off. He told me he liked me. We made out, I mean, we made out a lot. He wasn’t great, probably because he’s still an infant; or maybe I wasn’t that good, but our teeth kept clanking together and it felt like he was trying to eat my face. Bathsalts, perhaps. Regardless, the 15 year-old in me was still happy to be living out my boy band groupie dream. We move to a horizontal position and make out some more. With me on top, things are getting hot and heavy with this kid, a kid I undoubtedly would’ve had the biggest crush on in middle school. I’m living my dream (in my dream), right? All of a sudden, I QUEEF. [I debated whether or not to include this in the story because even in dreams, it’s a 10 on the embarrassment scale, but whatever, it’s pretty crucial] Any girl who has unwillingly experienced this occurrence can testify to how mortifying and how much of a mood annihilator it can be. All the steam that was happening between us was immediately sucked out of the room. I can only imagine that my face turned beet red as I was quickly trying to explain to this child that shit like this happens in certain positions. Buzz completely killed, moment out the window, I couldn’t bring myself to get back in it and carry on as I was afraid of embarrassing myself again in front of this hot piece. So, I sheepishly pull away and stop things. Dream Nathan is visibly confused and annoyed over the blue balls I just threw at him when I realize there’s something all around his mouth. It’d make some sense if I was wearing lipstick or if he had at any point ventured down to my nether regions, but I wasn’t, he didn’t, and it was definitely period blood. Annoyed Dream Nathan throws a temper tantrum and yells things I can’t remember, which upsets and pisses me off, so I leave to get beer. Without telling him about the juice on his face.
As I’m walking back from the corner store, I pass a very familiar good-looking guy coming from the gym. I turn around to do a double take and go, “Chris Webber??” Young, HOT Chris Webber turns around, realizes that he’s been made by a fan and kind of does a “oh, crap.” SO EXCITED, I run back to him, tell him I’m a huge fan (I am?) and ask for a photo. He’s very nice and obliges. As I’m getting my camera phone ready and telling him he has the longer arms so he should take it, a couple happens to be nearby and says they’ll take it for us. We pose and as the guy is about to take it, he leans in and mouths something, telling us to carefully look around. Across the street we see a suspicious group of hooligans lingering and eyeing the NBA star. After quickly pretending to take a picture, Chris Webber grabs and HOLDS MY HAND, we act like a couple and walk away. I’m reveling in the moment of holding his hand, but when I see that we’re still being followed, things get a little scary. I grip his hand a little tighter, we walk a little faster, and eventually the group disappears. I can’t remember exactly how CWebb and I parted ways but we did. I get home and I’m frantically telling my friends/The Wanted (Nathan & blood included) what had just happened and going through my phone to find the picture when I realize no pictures were taken.
Dream analysis and things to consider:
Ok, Nathan was obviously fresh on my mind from the concert, so it makes sense that he’d appear as my love interest, but why did the make out have to be memorably bad?
Why did I queef?
Also, my period? I woke up this morning and half-expected it to be a Sansa, blood on the sheets, scenario, but nothing. Where is my period…
Me leaving to get beer is my subconscious telling me to reevaluate my life right now and stop depending on beer.
Chris Webber- I just watched the Dream Team doc yesterday where college CWebb makes an appearance. I did really enjoy his heyday.
Being followed by a sketchy crowd? What does this mean? Who is trying to stab me in the back?